Haunted Mansion Show - Plot Update

Right, I've been working on the plot for this wee HM show I'm making. A HYPOTHETICAL one I must add.

Heres a breif synopsis of the story as it stands right now.

" The year is 1839, and sea-captian George Ambrose Gracey is living with his wife Marie-Ann Winters in thier newly-built manor in a swampy-area on the outskirts of a flourishing town. Living with them are George's brothers Garrett and Gordon Gracey and Marie-Annes siblings Veronica, Elma and Henry Winters.


On the eve of thier thirteenth anniversary, thier first child is born, Emily Ann Gracey. Eager for thier new daughter to grow up into a respectable woman, the couple hire a butler, Thomas O'Malley, to guide thier daughter. Very soon, Marie-Anne has her second child: Edward Ambrose Gracey. Intelligant and handsome, Edward was quiet  compared to his outward and naive sister, Emily. But everybody was happy in Gracey Manor , for the first and last time.


In the summer of 1856, Emily died in a horrific boating accident. Showing off to a boy she admired, she took a small dingy and, not paying attention to the fast running water, she plummetted down a steep waterfall.
Struggling to cope with the greif of losing her only daughter, Marie-Anne hired a spiritularist, Madame Leota.


Happy to move in and help by conducting seances, Leota instantly fell in love with the house, and planned to make it her home.
With thier recent loss, George and Marie-Anne's marriage was strained. The couple began the argue constantly, and Edward grew up to the sound of shouting and banging doors.
Then, on a wintery night, George was brutally murdered whilst returning home through a dodgy area of town. With an axe thorugh the head, George was put to rest. Marie-Anne was suspiciously happy, but no-one dared asked why.


Over the years, Marie-Anne slowly spent her last years as a bitter and elderly woman.


The year is now 1869, and Edward Gracey, now the young Master of the Mansion, is on a family outing to the DeTerlizzio Carnival, with his Aunts and Uncles. There he meets the beautiful Lillian Ravenwood. They instantly fall in love and Edward throws a small tea-party in the Garden of the Mansion to celebrate thier engagement. Jealous of Lillian and deeply in love with Edward, Madame Leota suggests to Lillian that she demonstrates her tight-rope routine to the guests. Lillian gladly accept, and begins to walk across the erstatz tightrope. But - alas - the tight-rope staps and Lillian plummets to her death, in the crocadile infested swampland below.


Shaken and grief-stricken, Edward has lost his only love. But Thomas, the Butler, had a promise to keep to his former master, and convinced the boy that he had to try and marry again, so as the secure the Gracey Fortunes. Thomas suggested a grand ball, in honour of his Aunt Elmas birthday, where he could invite eligible bachelorettes to meet Edward. Reluctantly, Edward agrees.
Constance Hatchaway, a fair, yet mysterious woman all the way from Europe, hears of the great ball. A serial murderess who decapititaes her husbands for thier wealth, Constance sees the Gracey Fortune as the Jackpot, and travels all the way to Gracey Manor to be part of the great ball.


Elmas Birthday was finally arrives. The ballroom is decked out in all its glory. Friends and family waltz to music, Edwards uncles and a family friend have formed a quartet and sing to the birthday girl. And Constance arrives.
Quickly, Thomas realizes why Constance is here. He tries to warn his master, but is locked in a gallery by Constance with no way out. Quickly running out of air and going mad, Thomas hangs himself.
Overhearing Constance talk to herself in the attic, Leota locks her in a huge trunk. As she tries to tell Edward of Constances plans, Edward doesnt believe her, and Leota flies into a jealous rage. Summoning up spirits and ghosts, she curses the house, and locks many of the guests inside the ballroom.


Like his mother, Edward Gracey lives out his last days going mad, and was soon buried in the garden with many of his relatives. Leota took over the mansion, using it to channel all her evil energies, and has many spirits take up residence in the house. The House then goes silent, as has been for many, many years. "

It is rather long. I was inspired by many differant sources, such as the Phantom Manor ride, the Haunted Mansion ride and the film, as well as countless fan-stories.

Suggestions will be welcome.